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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Paperback)


From Publishers Weekly
It’s a classic single-woman scenario: you really like this guy, but he’s giving mixed messages. You make excuses, decide he’s confused, afraid of commitment. Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City—and a formerly single (now happily married) guy who knows all the excuses—provides a simple answer: he’s just not that into you. Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be. After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, "if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way." If you’re not convinced yet, by all means read this smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat little book, full of q’s and a’s covering every excuse woman has ever made to avoid admitting to herself that a man just wasn’t that smitten with her.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From School Library Journal
Adult/High School–With a bright, breezy style, the authors highlight a list of actions that men take to demonstrate that they are "just not into you," using "Dear Greg" letters and replies, unscientific polls of men, lists reviewing the key points in each chapter, a comic glossary, and laugh-out-loud workbook assignments. Although this book is meant for the 20-plus career women who have been dating for a while, the empowering message that a woman deserves a man who truly loves her and not one that she must constantly make excuses for can't be learned too early.–Jane S. Drabkin, Chinn Park Regional Library, Woodbridge, VA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Overdue and universally applicable, September 24, 2004
By Michael T. Rognlien (Chicago, IL USA)


This book really isn't just for women, and it really isn't just about relationships. True, it focuses on empowering women to say "Hey, I'm worth more than this and I'm not going to settle" which is a wonderful thing to realize, but it really goes beyond relationships. We are conditioned to work hard (and, as an unfortunate side effect, suffer) for everything in life - jobs, material possessions, etc - and when love or money or other things we want don't come to us, it's easier emotionally to justify and/or make excuses as to why we're not getting what we feel we deserve when we want it. Whether it's the attention of a man (or woman) or a promotion at work, the power of this book is that it tells you in no uncertain terms that YOU are the only one who will suffer if you continue to cling to something that wasn't meant to be.

The authors have really stumbled on to something good here - what I took away from this book and will continue to remember is that life is too short to pine for things that aren't meant to happen. Who knows how many great things pass us by because we're too busy worrying about getting something or someone that just wasn't meant to be. Read it and weep, if you must, but then also be glad that - if you apply what you've learned and make it your mantra - it's the last time you will cry over a love or aspiration unrealized.

You have got to be kidding me!, August 14, 2006
By John Anthony "John Anthony" (California)


I did not like this book at all. I agree with what the point of the book is, to not waste your time. After that, the book is not going to really help women or men. The basic principle of the book is that if a man is into you he will stop at nothing to get you, and if for some reason he does not do any of the things they mentioned in the book cut him loose. If he forgets to call when he says he was going to" he is just not that into you". Always give him your phone # never get his, because that he is try to be lazy and make you call him.... huh?A man will always ask out a woman he is attracted ,no matter what because according to Gregg and Liz must think men are non thinking on emotional robots. One of my favorites is if a man is attracted to you it does not matter if you are his boss, come on! Let just say my female boss winks and smiles at me .Do I risk my job because I'm into her, lets say I ask her out and she says yes and does not fire men for sexual harassment or anything like that. If for any reason it doesn't work out I still have to work with her, and guess what she is still my boss! The point is there are a lot of really good guys out there that are into you, but you will never give them a chance if you follow this book. They may be really into you, but fail one of these stupid test. Maybe he was nervous about making the first move, but he's into you so he does, you go on a couple of dates and one night you invite him up. He declines, according to the book "he is just not into you "so cut him loose,". This scenario (as some of you may know) comes from the episode of Sex in the city that the phrase "he's just not that into you" comes from. Later on in the episode we find out he had very embarrassing stomach issues. Again Gregg dismisses this as it never really happens, basically real life does not apply to men. Just for one second lets turn the turn this around, picture your dating life if men used the things that this book is saying what would happen, be honest . All I'm saying is take each relationship on a case by case basis. Use common sense, if you still want to follow this book as" law" you might find a good man that's into you. You might also win the lottery, ride a unicorn, and win a trip to mars all in the same day. There are 2 kinds of guys that 99.99% of you will get using this book. One is a spineless jellyfish who does everything you want and never complains or stands up for himself, by the way you will cheat on him within the first year of the marriage. The second is the kind of man that will stop at nothing to get you, who will say and do whatever it takes though "he is not that into you "at least not for the long run. He's just looking for the conquest, and your good friend Gregg is setting you up for him. Thanks Gregg/Liz. for making it easy for us.

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